[Curious&Pregnant]

I have a 5 month old boy. He's amazing. The dad and I currently married, but we love eachother. I work from 9 - 3:30. I go home at lunch and spend time with the dad and my son. I have to go home at 3:30 so the dad can go to work at 4:00 until around 11 or 1. Sometimes has at least 2 nights off a week so we can see each other, He plays goes and plays on a league every Thursday til about 11. I don't take part in any league or anything of the sort. But one night dad wasn't too happy and was very upset at me because he claims he just wants to go and see his friends one night a week (Which he does on Thursdays because all of his best friends play with him). I understand that we need a break from our son everyonce in awhile to keep some sanity. So he has at least one night designated to his friends and then the other night he has off we usually do something together, but now he's trying to go out with his friends more and still complains that he never sees his friends. Even though I not even once a week go out with my friends. If I go out he's either working or out at league so I have to bring our son with us. Which whether I'm with my friends or not is still not a break. You still have to take care of him and all that jazz. What am I suppose to do? How do I keep him from getting upset about not being able to go out with his friends. (When he thinks one night obviously isn't a enough or something, I know this is quite confusing I hope you all understand.) I don't think he is ready to give up his social life like I am forced to do. Maybe he's just not ready. I feel like he is getting depressed and not regretting necessarily just not completely understanding what a parents responsibilities are. Obviously we all have to sacrifice a big part of our social life for our kids. Which I am more than happy to do because you get such a big reward being a parent!

[Daisyhill]

He shouldn't have to "give up his social life"...I have 2 children and actively encourage my husband to go out when ever he wants to....he does the same...you sound a little controlling...I know it's hard...but his life does not have to completely revolve around you and the kids...not in the evening especially.

[Stacy]

There's generally a perception that women are the primary caregivers and than men "help." Most moms I know deal with these issues because of this stereotype. Dads just tend to feel like they CAN go out because mom should be doing the mom thing.

My husband and I went through some of this and only found resolution when he stopped helping me and started sharing the caregiving role. We no longer think about me as the default caregiver and him as the sidekick.

Maybe you need to talk to your husband about changing his perception of the situation.

[Amanda D]

he can still have a social life but now that he has a baby he needs to see that its not all about going out with his friends, his baby boy and You are the priority. once a week is enough. and if he says its too much make a date night with the two of you.

[Maggie]

Personally, he needs to grow up and accept responsibility. He has a child now.

Going out every once in awhile is fine, but him going out all the time without you, without including you... are you sure he isn't cheating? Sounds really fishy to me.

I am a stay at home mom, and my husband and I rarely ever go out with out each other, much less our son. We are still looking for a babysitter so we may have date nights together.

[Anastasia]

Both of you made this baby, both of you need to be in the care giving role. He already has a night when he goes out and you don't. It doesn't sound fair to me.

Neither one of you should have to give up your friends completely, but you do have to have a balance, and he needs to stop thinking of you as the main care giver, since both of you should be.